Don’t Be Your Own Fool

By Kimberley Borgens

April Fools Day!  The day we are given permission to act like a fool and be foolish with others.  I am fond of this day as I can legally say I have a lot of fools in my family because my husband, nephew and former brother in law all share this day as their birthday!

Don’t be your own fool when it comes to going after what is in your heart and what dreams you are meant to fulfill!  Take a lesson from me about the value of setting your goals and learning to be a master goal setter and achiever! 

Going after your goals and dreams can feel easy at times.  Other times it feel like it is so challenging you may ask yourself why you are even bothering!

I was once one of those people who would set a goals and it seemed like I always failed at reaching them.  What did I do then?  Stopped setting goals!  If I stopped setting goals then I would never be looked at as a failure! Sounds pretty simple, set no goals, no one gets to challenge you or hold you accountable and life is a lot simpler.

I discovered over the next few years that strategy didn’t really work.  As a business owner if I didn’t set goals the business did not grow or expand.  My relationships stayed in the same place or disappeared altogether.  So, I decided I would set goals for myself but I would not let anyone know that I set them.  Then I could say when I completed the goal that I was successful.  This way I would not have to be vulnerable and fail too!  My husband once said to me “you don’t set goals and if you do, you don’t even trust people enough to share your goals with them”.  He was right!  Oh but I wasn’t going to tell him that!  I said in my loudest righteous voice “I do set goals and they are none of your business!”  I showed him right?

As the years went by I got better at sharing my goals and trusting some people enough to share what I was going after.  We were moving up in the world.  Our business was growing because now both my husband and I were setting goals together.

Don’t Be Your Own Fool Tip #1 – Set goals and be vulnerable enough to share with those willing to support you!

As we started and grew our initial business money was always tight.  We didn’t have start-up capital or deep pocket friends.  We started with hard work, pounding the pavement and praying a lot.  I always had a “JOB” somewhere to make household ends meet.  I worked retail stores, did bookkeeping for another business, babysitting, fast food, pizza delivery and assisted with leadership programs.

Don’t Be Your Own Fool Tip #2 – Never think you are above working while you are going after your dreams! 

I have pretty much worked for someone else in a job while building the business with my husband or I have subcontracted my services in my business and have supported other companies in expanding their resources and their financial growth.  I have some pretty good refining and organizing skills as well as some powerful resources that other companies have been willing to pay me well for.  I also have a lot of leadership resources, knowledge and skills that truly could support any small business in growing.

Don’t Be Your Own Fool Tip #3 – You do not have to hoard all your knowledge, resources and skills to just serve your own company.  You have been blessed with this information from all that you have accomplished along the way.

As you go after your goals and dreams there will be people and circumstances that come along to knock you off course.  Sometimes that happens I think to test your level of commitment.  Other times I think these times come along to see if your heart is in the right place.  I was working with one company years ago and was growing along with the company.  Over several years I was speaking for the company and helped with the training as new staff came in to help expand the company.  I enjoyed what I was doing.  I was making a difference.  At the same time in our business we had won the SBA – Small Business of the Year Northern CA Region award.  Living the dream as they say!  After working with that company for several years I was told that they no longer wanted to support my goal of speaking and training because if they were teaching people to go after their goals, they did not want me in front of the room weighing the weight that I did.  My head was like whatever yet my heart was in turmoil.  I chose to end my services with that company.  Very respectfully I bowed out and moved on.  Found ways to work with other companies and share my skills, knowledge and resources.

For several years I have been out speaking to groups.  I did just enough speaking to people to satisfy my inner goal of being a professional speaker.  Yet the undercurrent has been those words that were carelessly spoken to my many years ago. For years I let that comment fester inside of me.  I would have thoughts of “What right do I have to speak about goals to people weighing what I do?”  I am an intelligent woman.  I have achieved many goals throughout the 20 years in business.  I have reached multiple personal goals as well as business goals.  I have helped clients set and achieve goals that have stunned me at their level of commitment.  I have every right to talk to people about goals.

Don’t Be Your Own Fool Tip #4 – Do not let other people’s disrespectful words or thoughts hold you back from going after what you feel deep in your soul to do.  If your heart gets tested, test it again and again because if something is in your heart it will be up to you show the world.

When those words were said to me it was more about the scarcity that company was coming from.  I had helped that company step up and be more organized, discover a greater level of coaching and lifted up the key leaders to become powerful and take command presence of the room.  I helped the people who attended break through and go out to live a more compassionate and meaningful life.  It was time for me to leave not because of what was said but because I was meant to move to a new place in my life.

Don’t Be Your Own Fool Tip #5 – Be ready to move forward even if you do not feel like it!

Sometimes it is time for you to move on and you do not feel ready.  Then something happens and it becomes very clear it is time to move on.  Whether you are ready or not you will move because it is the right thing for you.  You can reach out and get support and know there are people who are willing to support you. Just remember this, support must be reciprocated.  You will have to do something in return for that support.  Basically some form of repayment.  Payment may look like money and it may also look like building a stronger friendship.  It may look like a trading of skills or time and it may look like utilizing your resources to support them.  There are many ways to get support and all you have to do is ask for it and ask what you can do for them in return!

What is the goal you have not shared?  Why not?  Is it because you do not trust the people around you?

What is the goal you are afraid to set?  How do you not want to look like a failure in your life?

Who is watching you?  You are being watched by family, kids, friends and co-workers.  Since that is the case what do you want them to see? 

Don’t be your own fool this year.  Set your goals, build trust and strengthen your confidence.  Reach for the dreams in your heart because they are there for you to reach.

You may have to work for others as you go after your own goals. We learn wonderful and powerful lessons while working with others that we would not easily learn on our own. Be willing to move on even when you are not completely ready to do so.

Surround yourself with people who will support your goals.  If you find yourself around people who do not support you then find some new people who will.  Keep loving those who don’t just go find those who will be there as you grow.

I have become a master goal setter and achiever.  There may still be goals that I do not reach, but the journey and the processes I learn on the way to that goal could be far greater than ever reaching that goal.  Here’s to going beyond being a fool and going after your goals even if you look foolish!

Kimberley Borgens

About the author

Kimberley Borgens was married at 18, a mother at 19, and divorced at 20, she has journeyed from being a single mom on welfare to recognizing her strengths, fighting for what she believes in, and successfully building 5 thriving businesses with hundreds of employees and million-dollar budgets. Kimberley is a speaker, business mentor, and coaches her clients to transform their small business into a thriving business. Kimberley is living her own legacy as she inspires and motivates women to be fearless, become more like a CEO of their business and life, and enjoy the freedom they've dreamed of. She knows what it's like to start from nothing and build a strong solid business and she can help you too.

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