Giving and receiving is not a new concept. It has been around since the earth began. The challenge I have seen is that many people seem to look at giving as different than receiving.
Have you heard the saying “It is more blessed to give than to receive”? I want to say that this saying has been used as an excuse for many years for people not to receive support, opportunities, and blessings. Everyone wants to be considered a good person and a good person knows that it is better to receive than to give! I hope to bust up this belief system. Meaning I want us all to be givers and a true giver gives the gift of receiving to themselves as well!
Giving – to present voluntarily and without expecting compensation, to hand to someone, to place in someone’s care, to make gifts or donations and the list goes on…
Receiving – to take into one’s possession (something offered or delivered), to accept from another, to greet or welcome and the list goes on…
Giving is not true giving when it is wrongly motivated, avoiding responsibility, or done to get approval.
Giving simply because it is right to give, without thought of return, at a proper time, in proper circumstances, is true giving. Giving with regrets or in the expectation of receiving some favor or of getting something in return, is selfish giving.
The earth has given us many gifts. Many times these gifts are not even noticed as we go through our day-to-day lives. There is a natural balance in life that goes along with giving and receiving.
As humans, we breathe in oxygen and exhale carbon dioxide. The plants on the earth receive carbon dioxide and give back oxygen. We receive the oxygen and give back to the plants the carbon dioxide. A great example of how the earth gives and receives. Think about bees, they go from plant to plant and receive pollen which they go about every day. They give the pollen to our plants so they can receive pollen to give fruits and vegetables. We receive the food and give to our bodies which receive the nutrients to give us good health. Bees also give us honey because they received the nectar from the flowers and we receive this food source from them as well.
So as you can see giving and receiving are natural in the world.
What happens so many times is we tend to go back to the saying it is better to give than to receive and we most often eliminate ourselves in the receiving cycle. When someone wants to give us something we will reject, neglect, or brush it off as if we do not deserve it or are not worthy of receiving this gift from someone else. And at the same time, we want them to receive what we offer. What is wrong with this picture?
If we are not being an example of receiving then why do we get so offended when others do not want to receive the gifts we have to offer them?
Think about in your business – where can this show up? Are you one of the people who will give your products away because it is better to give than receive? Many nice people are out there trying to sell products and give away more than they sell. The challenge then comes when people say I didn’t make any money in my business. I gave more away and did not get enough in return. They leave the business and blame the product for them not being successful. Is it possible that you have closed yourself off to the opportunity to receive the returns because your focus is more on the giving than equally on the receiving? So, many nice people are simply broke people and do not get far because they are out of balance in this area. I tell my clients who want to give away products and services, to begin the three to one rule on giving away your products. Sell 3 give 1. Unless you create this kind of discipline in business you will not be satisfied and you will move from one company to another because the product did not sell. I often say look at the common denominator. Different product same person!
When people give to you it gives them the opportunity to feel as though they are doing something good in the world. When people say no to the giving because they do not feel they deserve the gift or are not worthy of the gifts then it sets off a chain of events.
To the giver that they are not good enough or the gift was not worth enough money and so on.
To the receiver, it closes the window of opportunity to be a receiver and then to pass that back on by giving to another. Many people truly give from their hearts. And will walk away feeling rejected because someone else did not feel worthy or deserving of the gift they had to offer. What a cycle to be stuck in!
Many people also get in the mindset of:
· As you sow, so shall you reap
· What goes around comes around
· The energy you give out is the energy that returns to you
Then when they give they are looking for how the person is now going to give to them. I am here to tell you that the mindset of this concept is way off. Many times people expect the reaping to be that of similar to what was given. That puts a lot of pressure on each other.
I believe that when you give something you do it freely without the expectation of getting something in return. The funny part is many people do not realize that when they give they automatically receive the joy of blessing someone else in the world. That alone is enough of a reward. Not out of a sense of being owed.
The universal law plays a bigger part in this. What happens to me is that the more I give in to the world the more I seem to get back. I have no expectation to receive something back the same or that it has to look like something particular. And yet I seem to get refilled because I am open to receiving something back or receiving the opportunities that are around me.
I have an acquaintance who was being challenged in life. I knew I had the skills to coach her and rebuild her confidence. I chose to work with her and gave her my services as a gift. She had been in a hard place financially and emotionally. After working with her on a couple of sessions, I was attending a conference where a woman came up to me and handed me a $100 bill. She said, “sow this into the life of someone who can use your services”. I had already been doing that and am always looking for ways to bring out the greatness in people around me. My gift came from another source but it was still valuable.
When I first started in Be A Legacy I chose to give back because I receive so many opportunities from my clients and I receive support from others around me. So, for every paid client I do a pro bono client who is a survivor of sexual assault and rape. I know that I can give my services away because I also will receive and remain open to receiving so that I can bless more people.
Often people are looking for a return to look a specific way and when they do not see it that way then they decide that they are not going to get what they expected so they stop giving. There are many windows of opportunity around us. Many people will attempt to give something to us like a referral or new client and will be turned down because it didn’t look a certain way. Opportunities are all around us and many are looking for opportunities to look a certain way. Please shift your mindset and be more open to what is coming your way.
Action and reaction, cause and effect, giving and receiving: these are not separate functions in nature; they are one, for the true giver is the recipient of blessings untold, and the true receiver is the giver in the full measure of his character value to others.
When we think about giving and receiving in terms of giving of ourselves to others, we need to also address some other areas of our life: specifically, ensuring we are not being judgmental or condemning people, and maintaining an attitude of forgiveness as in giving and receiving.
Here are some things to think about:
Stop judging people based on their past – people can surprise you. We all make mistakes while growing up!
Don’t be so quick to condemn, to disapprove of people and make declarations about them closes the window of opportunity to you because judgment causes your heart to be closed off.
Forgive people when they’ve done something wrong to you, or you feel you’ve been wronged for some reason. I didn’t say forget, I did say to forgive so you can move on.
Give of yourself in many areas of life – your money, your time, your gratitude, and your love. As you give from your heart you open your heart to the opportunity to fill the weaker areas of your life.
Receive freely from others. The more you learn to receive you allow yourself to be deserving and worthy in the world. It may take some practice to get comfortable with this so keep practicing.
When you practice these main areas, you find they will happen back to you. People will be less judgmental of you. People will be more forgiving of you. You will receive.
Go out and get involved. Receive just as much as you give to create balance in your life. As you create balance in this area then you move to the next area and keep moving forward.
With the holidays upon us, think about what you will be giving to others. Will it be an extension of your heart or will you be giving looking for approval? Will you be open to receiving the gifts others have to offer you? Or will you say no and take away the opportunity to give joy to another human being?
Go out and make a bigger difference. You are the most deserving and worthy person to give and receive.