How to Take Back Your Personal Power

By Kimberley Borgens

One truth women are confronted with at some point along their journies is that we are navigating a challenging path in industries that are often male-dominated. This is where stereotypes, biases, and self-doubt can cast shadows over our brilliant potential. But today, I want to shed light on a brighter path – one where you seize your personal power, embrace your authenticity, and break free from the constraints that have held you back.

This article isn’t just about my story; it’s about yours, too. It’s about realizing your worth and taking control of your life. It’s time to become the most powerful person in the room, whether that room is filled with board members, clients, or your own family. Are you ready to make a difference, not just in your life but in the world?

The Power of Personal Transformation

I want to take you on a journey, a journey back to the days when I didn’t know the incredible power I held within myself. You see, like many of you, I grew up in a world where challenges were a daily reality. I was a quiet, shy girl who often felt like hiding in the closet, away from the world. I was afraid of almost everything, and that fear seemed to be my constant companion.

Forging a path forward

But life went on, and by the age of 18, I was already married to my high school sweetheart. We had a son, and by 20, we were getting a divorce. My husband, at the time, had some interesting words for me. He said I wasn’t smart because I only used one-syllable words.

I found myself as a divorced single mom on welfare with no high expectations or valuable skill sets. I didn’t even know what skill sets were. I was young and naive; perhaps some of you can relate to that feeling.

But it was a turning point when I looked at my one-year-old son and knew I had to make a change. I had to be stronger to protect him from experiencing the same struggles I had faced. I couldn’t bear the thought of him growing up with low self-esteem and a sense of worthlessness.

I decided to change the course of my life. I pursued education, found jobs to develop new skills, and stopped letting people diminish my worth. I attended college, double-majoring in Administration of Justice and Business Management. Then, I enrolled in the police academy, motivated by my desire to prove to my ex-husband that I was not the person he said I was.

The truth about our worth

But the real transformation in my life began the moment my eyes were finally opened to the truth of my true worth. And that truth is the same for all of us: We are irreplaceable.

Once I understood that, from that point forward, I started making choices as a powerful woman who had much to offer. I no longer allowed anyone to question my worth or value. It was a profound shift, and it all began with taking my power back.

So, here’s a question for you: What will it take for you to decide that you’re the most powerful person in the room?

The Role of Support and Mentorship

Along my personal transformation journey, one thing becomes abundantly clear—the power of support and mentorship. I wouldn’t be where I am today without the guidance and encouragement of those who believed in me when I couldn’t fully believe in myself.

A supportive mentor

As a young, divorced single mom, my life felt like an uphill battle. I was determined to create a better future for my son, but I didn’t have all the answers. It was during this challenging time that I realized the significance of seeking help and surrounding myself with the right people.

I’d like to share a story that illustrates the profound impact of mentorship in my life. Back when I was attending the police academy, I met an older, experienced private investigator who took me under his wing. He believed in my potential and recognized my passion, dedication, and commitment to learning. He became not just a mentor but a true friend who listened to my ideas and encouraged me to pursue my dreams.

This encounter eventually led to the creation of our private security and investigations business, combining my policing background with his investigative expertise. After a few years of dating, we started a business, and later, we got married.

A priceless revelation

In retrospect, my husband played a pivotal role in helping me discover my true value. There was a moment, etched in my memory, when we were seeking life insurance. We had assets, kids, and a limited budget. I suggested a $25,000 policy for me and a $500,000 policy for my husband. His response was a game-changer. He reminded me that if something happened to me, he would need to hire multiple people to replace the role I played in our business, in our home, and our family. I was irreplaceable. It was the first time a man had shown me that I was valuable to him, and it ignited a transformation within me.

Support and mentorship have the incredible ability to shift your perspective and elevate your self-esteem. It’s not just about finding someone to guide you; it’s about connecting with individuals who believe in your potential and challenge you to recognize your own strength.

Think about this: Who can you turn to for support and mentorship on your journey to personal and professional growth? Your life can change in remarkable ways when you have the right people by your side.

Taking Ownership of Your Life

It’s remarkable how the decision to take ownership of your life can spark a transformation that empowers you in ways you never imagined. As an entrepreneur, this choice is your stepping stone to greatness.

The challenges that shape us

I remember the day my sister asked me a question that changed my life forever. She looked me in the eye and said, “What happened to you?” I was baffled at first. What did she mean? But she persisted, “You used to be the quiet girl who hid in the closet, who avoided everyone. What changed?”

I took a moment to reflect, and then it hit me—I got tired of being stepped on. It was a profound realization, one that I didn’t even know was a big deal at the time. I grew up in an environment where I was told I wasn’t smart; I had been knocked around, both physically and emotionally. I was even subjected to sexual abuse by the age of 13. Each time I looked in the mirror, I felt a lack of value. It was a feeling that haunted me for years.

In response, I developed a coping mechanism—I tried to hide. I hid from the world to avoid becoming a target for negativity. I would find solace in the darkest corners, often reading a book by flashlight, tucked away in a closet. I’d perch myself on a high shelf – a place where I hoped to remain invisible and safe from the hurtful world outside.

But I had grown tired of being stepped on, tired of hiding in the shadows, tired of feeling like I had no value. It was a pivotal realization that set me on the path to taking ownership of my life. I started making choices that would lead me to a place of strength, not just for my sake but for the sake of my son. I refused to let him experience the same feelings of low self-esteem and worthlessness that had plagued me for most of my life.

Embracing your self-worth

My transformation began with a commitment to self-improvement. As I took ownership of my life, I stopped looking for external validation and instead focused on my internal personal power. I stopped letting others define my value and started defining it for myself. 

Taking ownership of your life is a journey of self-discovery, self-worth, and empowerment. As a woman entrepreneur, you have the strength to reclaim your power, define your worth, and make choices that align with your true potential.

The Value of Authenticity

Let’s talk about something that’s close to my heart: the power of authenticity. Being true to yourself is your secret weapon, your unique advantage. I can’t stress enough how embracing your authenticity can be a game-changer.

Embracing your true self

In my early days, I didn’t fully appreciate the significance of authenticity. But I soon realized that authenticity isn’t about fitting into a mold or conforming to expectations; it’s about being genuine and unapologetically you. It’s about recognizing that your unique qualities are your superpowers. And it’s a lesson I learned from my own journey.

For many years, I allowed myself to be defined by the perceptions of others. I let people’s opinions and judgments shape the way I presented myself to the world. I thought I had to be something I wasn’t to gain acceptance and recognition. It was exhausting, and it didn’t lead me to the fulfillment I sought.

Your unique superpower

Then, one day, I had an epiphany. I realized that my authenticity was my strength. It was my ticket to connecting with like-minded individuals, and it was the key to my success as a business coach. I stopped trying to be something I wasn’t and embraced who I truly am.

As an introvert, I bring a unique perspective to the table. I might not be the loudest voice in the room, but I have something valuable to say. I’m known for my matter-of-factness, passion, and unwavering commitment to empowering women. I’m not afraid to be who I am, even if it means not everyone will like me.

The truth is, I’d rather be respected for being authentic than liked for being someone I’m not. When I show up as my genuine self, I attract the right people into my life – those who resonate with my message and style. Authenticity fosters deeper connections and allows me to make a real impact on the women I coach.

I want you to know that your authenticity is your greatest asset. Whether you’re introverted or extroverted, shy or outgoing, don’t try to fit into someone else’s mold. Be yourself because there’s no one in the world quite like you. When you embrace your authenticity, you’ll attract the people who appreciate you for who you are and the value you bring.

Embrace Responsibility and Accountability

Let’s talk about two critical pillars of success: responsibility and accountability. In my journey, I’ve learned that these qualities are not just buzzwords; they’re the keys to unlocking your true potential.

The power of responsibility

For a long time, I struggled with fully embracing responsibility and accountability. I’d make excuses, point fingers, and sometimes avoid taking ownership of my actions. It’s a common trap that many of us fall into. We fear the weight of responsibility and the accountability that comes with it.

But here’s the thing: responsibility and accountability aren’t burdens. They’re bridges to growth, progress, and success. I’ve come to realize that taking responsibility for my choices, actions, and inactions puts me in the driver’s seat of my life and business, where I belong.

Embracing accountability for personal growth

One defining moment was when someone told me I was a terrible CEO. Instead of getting defensive or dismissing their words, I took a deep breath and said, “Thank you for your opinion.” I knew that the power to change lay within me. I conducted a self-check and realized that I was a flexible leader who listened, learned, and adapted. I was in control of my life, and that included my role as a CEO.

Here’s the beauty of it: when you take responsibility and uphold accountability, you gain the trust and respect of those around you. Whether you’re a mother, a wife, an entrepreneur, or all of the above, these qualities are the cornerstones of reliability and integrity.

So, I want to encourage you to embrace responsibility and accountability with open arms. Don’t fear them; welcome them. They are your allies in this journey, guiding you toward your goals and dreams. Challenge yourself to set high standards, keep your commitments, and live with integrity.

Challenge Assumptions: Rediscover Your Personal Power

One thing it is essential to understand clearly is how assumptions can be both limiting and misleading. Throughout my life, I’ve encountered countless assumptions about my abilities, my place in the world, and what I can achieve. But I’ve learned that these assumptions are merely roadblocks, not roadmaps.

The limiting influence of assumptions

Assumptions often dictate what we believe is possible for ourselves. They tell us that certain roles, industries, or positions are off-limits. They whisper that we don’t have the power to change the status quo. And they convince us that our potential is confined within predefined boundaries.

But what if I told you that assumptions are nothing more than stories we’ve been told or stories we’ve told ourselves? What if I said that you have the power to rewrite those stories and challenge the assumptions that have held you back?

The empowering act of challenging assumptions

The moment I decided to challenge assumptions was the moment I reclaimed my personal power. I realized that assumptions weren’t facts; they were opinions, and opinions could be changed. Whether it was assuming that men were the CEOs or accepting that certain dreams were beyond reach, I knew it was time to redefine the narrative.

One pivotal realization was that the power to change the world often starts with challenging the assumptions we’ve held for so long. I stopped assuming that I couldn’t be a CEO just because I was raised to believe it. Instead, I embraced the title of CEO because I earned it through hard work and dedication.

Today, I challenge you to question the assumptions that may be hindering your progress. Start by asking yourself, “What do I truly believe about my potential? What have I accepted without question?” Once you identify these things, confront them head-on.

Remind yourself that you have the authority to define your path and decide what’s possible. Don’t let preconceived notions and societal expectations limit your potential. The world is full of women who have shattered the glass ceiling, and you can join them.

Embrace Your Power to Ignite Your Journey

We all have an immense power that resides within each one of us. You are more powerful than you could ever imagine. Your potential is boundless, your dreams are achievable, and your voice is a force to be reckoned with.

Empowerment is not a destination; it’s a journey that unfolds each day. It’s about embracing your personal power and using it to create positive change in your life and the lives of others. It’s about lifting up those around you and being the mentor you once wished for. It’s about taking control of your destiny and understanding that you are the author of your own story.

Embrace your power, lead with purpose, and make your journey an inspiration to others. I urge you to step into your power, rise above the challenges, and take ownership of your journey.

Kimberley Borgens

About the author

Kimberley Borgens was married at 18, a mother at 19, and divorced at 20, she has journeyed from being a single mom on welfare to recognizing her strengths, fighting for what she believes in, and successfully building 5 thriving businesses with hundreds of employees and million-dollar budgets. Kimberley is a speaker, business mentor, and coaches her clients to transform their small business into a thriving business. Kimberley is living her own legacy as she inspires and motivates women to be fearless, become more like a CEO of their business and life, and enjoy the freedom they've dreamed of. She knows what it's like to start from nothing and build a strong solid business and she can help you too.

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